Things to remember

• Talking to kids and teens about school shows you care about their lives and their learning.
• Conversations about school are best started when the time seems right and your child wants to talk.
• Get younger kids talking by asking simple, positive questions about school.
• When kids are in the older grades, you can try talking about the connection between college and after-school plans.

Talking about school: Why kids sometimes have a hard time

“How was school?” is a great question. Answering this question requires your child to summarize their entire day, which is often difficult.

Your child may want to say, “Today is packed with ideas, lessons, and free time, and I don’t know where to start.” So it’s easier to say, “Okay.”

Additionally, some older children may feel that their school experience is private and don’t want to share it. This is a typical part of school-age development, when children begin to form their own identity and social world. But your child needs to know that you’re there for them when they’re ready to talk.

Why talking about school is important
Talking to your child about their school day shows that you’re interested in what’s going on in their life. This interest promotes your child’s mental health, happiness, and well-being. It can also have a positive impact on your child’s behavior and grades. It shows your child that you care about school and education, and encourages them to care about it too. Talking about school together can also help you find out more about what is expected of your child in school, how your child learns, and how your child handles challenges. It can help you know if your child is losing interest in school or is having problems.

Knowing how your child feels about school can help you identify problems before they become too big. That way, you can work together to overcome the challenges.

Talking about school topics, like school projects or friendship issues, is also a great opportunity to express your family values about teamwork, respect for yourself and others, friendships, relationships, problem-solving, etc. Strategies for talking to kids and teens about school

When your child comes home from school in the afternoon, he or she is probably tired, hungry, or thinking about other things. Therefore, easing the transition from school or extracurricular activities to coming home will encourage your child to feel more inclined to talk.

It is best not to ask your child too many questions, which can overwhelm him or her. Tell your child that you are happy to see them and talk for a while about topics other than school. Younger children will want to open their bags and show you what they brought home before asking about school. If your child is old enough to do their homework, you can reduce the pressure to save homework questions for later.

Every afternoon or evening can be different. Even if your child is usually happy to tell you about their day, there will probably be days when they don’t want to talk. Sometimes it’s important to be aware of your child’s mood and time it right. Some days there might not be a good time at all, and that’s okay. Simple, positive, specific questions about the time of day can spark conversation. Ask questions that require more than a “yes,” “no,” or “OK” answer.

For example:

• What was new from school today?
• What did you enjoy?
• What was the best thing about school today?
• What is your classroom like right now?
• What did you do in class after the break?
• Who did you spend time with today? What subject did you take today?
• What topic are you currently working on in science?
• Stay calm with sensitive topics
• Conversations with your child about school can bring up sensitive topics. Stay calm, listen without judgment, and focus on how your child feels. This is a great opportunity to show your child that you support them and value their honesty.

When your child complains about a teacher or student, remember that you are only hearing one side of the story. It’s best to find out more before contacting the school. If your child doesn’t want to talk to you about sensitive topics, it may be helpful to find another adult to talk to – perhaps a relative, teacher, counselor, or someone your child trusts and feels comfortable around.